the answer

the answer to go through life is to strive to to be as humble as possible, not so much as to not be happy! or to stand up for those who need help! but to keep the idea of being humble in the foremost of your mind ! as that becomes second nature you will have ended stress and many of the problems within yourself that causes them! it starts with being courteously to those you meet, you will find success will slowly come your way!!. that is a saying from budda 5000 years ago i may have written the words slightly different as it has been many years since i read them but the meaning is correct!

annoyed

we all know someone and we are guilty of it ourselves sometimes, but it is not for the childish reasons most do it!, MAKING OTHERS LOOK BAD TO MAKE THEMSELVES LOOK GOOD !!, when you are 4-12 in age okay! people have been doing it forever! call someone a witch and you wont be called one yourself! there's an old scottish saying if you dont have anything nice to say about someone dont say anything at all!, when your an adult no one wants to hear someone who only says the bad points about others all the time if at all! its petty! we all and i stress all have our bad points or mistakes or bad habits! so look at yourself and your own bad points before you talk to or about others!, because most adults will think " so what" and if they do it all the time people are going to start talking about you and say that person never has anything good to say about anyone so what are they saying about me when im not around ? and you will notice those people will have very few friends!! unless they are the same or pity them!!! its something to think about ??????

my near future

the time has come for me to start experimenting with the drugs im on to improve the quality of life i have!, they are all doctor prescribed yet i have to get off and change the amounts to a lower dosage, im to sleepy and im sore now if i get off some or lower the amount will i be any more sore? i have to pharmaceuticaly induce sleep or i wont sleep! i can induce a trance like sleep to the point where i can watch my dreams in my head!, its very cool but im also petting the cat and listening to the radio at the same time! but thats just a nap "sort of" , im going to lessen the amounts of drugs slowly and observe the results!? its strange because the qualityy of life is not going up between me and my spouse "in my eyes", and it has to change! if im not happy she is unhappy because of it! vicious circle eh!,, so im going to try and take myself off of three of the most addictive drugs known to man by myself!?!? i truthfully would rather be in some of the war zones i have been in during my younger days,that i no longer speak of!,, its about my future do i want one and what kind of one do i want? i think i liked it better when i used to drink and enjoyed life and who i was and what i did!,, funny you cant make all of the people happy all of the time including yourself! well lets see how it goes!

the age reward

hoorah! if you have reached the age where you dont care what people think of how you dress keep your home! you get to be comfortable with who you are! not caring how other people think of you if your different!,,we have been fighting for this for many years!,,where we had to be the same dress the same have the same things talk about the same things! its not all that long ago you would be killed or burned alive for being different!, some people will always do exactly and live exactly as their parents who did the same as their parents! for shame all having past identities and rules! where as someone like me does what he wants lives how he likes has his own happiness not others!! i act within the law , i earn a living, i have a lovely wife, and loads of friends,, why should i conform to how others want me to? 12 to 17 years old you have to be identical to what the media says!, then you get to think for yourself! and soon you get to be who you are!, and seen for who you are!, its my great comfort in life! one thing you get to have in this country, we can still see in other countries that they are told who and what they will be and they have no choice or be killed!,, so when you get to the age you will find it is the reward of your life comfort!.

genius

genius comes in many forms, and for each i believe a certain amount is there,for others a large portion is there, yet for some of them they have to pay a heavy price!,for they are walking a thin blade of a sword,normality on one side and the ability to use their talents, and the other a world of insanity and indecision, it is a matter of balancing mentally! and being very careful not to let your emotions overtake your reasoning! and for some this will be the hardest event of self preservation of ones life!,there are so many variables to consider that the equations cant be calculated!,,there are drugs yet they are usually short term and "can" lead to tragedy, i could ramble on for hours on the subject! but wont! those of who i speak know of what i speak and the fact of the matter is each persons problems are so particular to to the individual that they and only they can write of their condition!.

rushing people

we all seem to have such great purpose!, i stand and watch people rushing around as if all they do is imperative! i cant do that i saunter everywhere! it has even gotten me in trouble! i read once that people do everything as fast as they can, so they can sit down and do nothing!, well read watch t.v. on a sofa or couch and the faster they get it all done the more tome they have to do it!?, well i tried it fast and slow, the results were minimal except i was more stressed rushing!, and its a proven fact you dont live as long!? , if we all just attended to our tasks normally " not rushing" we would be less stressed have the same amount of free time and live longer and see more,hear more,, but we wont do it until we cant! age slows us down and we finally realize that nothing is so important!, what the hell is wrong with people i know some people are not happy unless they are in this rushing state! kind of odd! just a thought.

sheer and utter nonsense

people speak it everyday, young, old it doesn't matter, it could be the job im in or the world we live in !, the bold face liars that i talk to every day is incredible! they have said such nonsense! i cant help myself but to prove them wrong on the spot! but its what they say when proven wrong that interests me!! i love to hear their responses! else they run from my store so ashamed at being caught!, usually its "well that is what i was told" which is boring unless the person that told them died 100 years before they were born ! im an antiquities dealer, and people bring me things to sell, and i know everything has a story! but i am a professional and I CAN READ! even something like silver, silver walks into my store everyday! and most people say its solid silver! however 99% is plated!! one lady 60+ danced up and down that her big bowl was solid silver! i told her how come it says e.p.n.s. on the bottom!, which stands for electro plated nickle silver!, no she thought for a moment and said "my grandfathers name was eric philip nigel smith" ! smiling i asked her what the A-1 after it meant !after a moment she said "well he was an a one type of guy thats why he got the bowl"! smiling i said okay but the company that made this only makes silver plate !! she said all you dealers are trying to rip me off! they all tell me the exact same thing! i shook my head and said have a nice day!.

not myself part three

one last entry on the subject is fiction what i make up using my imagination!, i can write a book or plays,scripts etc using words from ideas based in the real world, stories that one can put together for any number of titles!? events one makes up that you formulate in the mind! a spy novel, horror, mystery, drama, and one can write child's books, political ideas ,, all with bit and pieces the brain takes from all you have inside and you are only limited by your ability to conjure up and piece together,, imaginary fiction none of it actually happened to you except for slight similarities from what you have read or experienced,put together to make a story form these snippets of your brain,, in the end hoping to stir or cause emotional response in others, they will use their own imaginations to interpret your stories as they see them each one seeing it differently from the next,,,,a lie a book the imagination!...i should also talk of the inventors who use both the thinking brain and the imagination together to expand upon or use the two to create something new in the form of an invention to better or worsen mankind.

not myself part two

all i really have to give to the world is my uniqueness for there is no one who has gone through exactly what i have in the exact way , time ,, and felt the same things at the same time!! and this above all, in your own little nook in the world is what you have to contribute!, my personal identity and how i act and react! just the fact that i share of myself with others, so they know who i am and what we can do for each other to make the life journey easier and happier!..we all know we need from each other,not just food and clothing but being with others to talk make friends help and be helped, share, befriend,love, need and be needed, we are a pack animal and there is no greater joy then to love and be loved!, each of us has a great need to express themselves in joy and in sorrow else we bottle everything up inside, then we are lonely, that in it self is worse then hunger, we will become sick and die!,,now i can write more on this subject as others have using different words! it is my take on things through research and experience but all i can share with another is my own life ......except

not myself part one

my friend told me that all my works are about myself!,he asked me to use my intellect to talk on other subjects! he is right i know me best!, i find that everything has been said before, its just whether you have heard it or not! and i may speak of things, yet i was in the story to find out about it or experienced it or was there! it is true that in some form its been said before, there are no new thoughts, base ideas anyways! things have been altered to the situation but the idea is the same!, even the great philosophers and thinkers tell tales that happened to them or thoughts that came to them!,, i can tell you of the rain, politics, people, the world, or of love! but they are of how i have seen them ! how many have spoken of love, all the adjectives,languages,feelings,people are saying the same thing just differently, for i am a man like all that are have been and will be!, having the same emotions just described differently to fit the individual!, the choice of words to tell in what way hormones affected him !, yes it makes us feel not very special but it is the way!, i can speak on a variety of topics from physics to forests and tell you of things you might never have thought of in those terms before, but someone has!!! the only new things you can talk about are your own experiences and the way you experienced it, because it might be slightly different as there is only one of you!.