music inside me

some like me cannot make music for many reasons!, but to me music is a very private thing!,and hard to explain, it may only be a line in a song, a few words with a few notes, but what it can do to me!! it can put me in a mood or take me out of a mood!, sometimes i need to listen to it by myself for many reasons!, it might have hit something very personal within me that i do not share, i may cry, or the song might be me so much that it scares me!,or its saying the things i want to say but cant, or cant find the words,or how does this person know me so well, or thats what i am or have been trying to say, i dont want anyone to see my reaction, i even rush to be somewhere to be alone and play the song i just heard, over in my mind! and its a part of me that i dont want to share its for me!,"i think ive said to much maybe i havent said enough"

do you know who you are

do you ? or are you just a collection of other people's lives? are you true to yourself or are you scared of who you are? do you do what is expected of you? or are you just trying to survive? are you scared of life? or these questions,.or do you know!, not just think you know who you really are!, you are all the experiences you have ever had all you have learned and all you have felt!,you are not brainwashed by groups and society's!,you realize that we are brainwashed by our parents as a young child thats how we learn! and forms of it are used throughout your young adult years to teach you and ready you for society! then it comes time for you to stop that and think for yourself with the tools at your disposal to live your life as you choose for yourself and not to let others choose for you!, to feel secure in the thoughts of who you are and what you want to do with your time while you are alive!, you understand that of why you are here, and for some it took the search to find they did not need the search!and for some it was the search that mattered!,and there are some that become more then what they are, they are on a search that never ends or can, it is a thirst they cannot quench and they need to be much more yet cannot find it! to some it is a matter of happiness and that is all,yes and if talking with your friends at the pub is what makes you happy,! for you have found your happiness,some its a family and the tradition of others or your parents! they have found your happiness,! and so on!, and then their are the few who have risen to something more and they know it, with all they speak,with all their thoughts, it is always there it is those i seek??? to the rest just be happy!

the spirit in the woods

i have lived in the woods, and walked through the woods, felt the spirit of the woods, it was the 150 year old trees, the wind the birds the soil a nearby stream, the life and death forever,all within the woods! and i am apart and not apart of,the wind the sights and sounds, it is real i can touch it with my senses! this spirit is more real then others have from a book and words!, i think when it comes my time i would like to die against a tree and decay into the soil where the grass grows and the deer eat the grass and so i become truly apart of the spirit of the woods that can be felt forever!.

are we stupid

i watched a man viewing his church broadcast on his computer, i could not help pulling up a chair and take in the sight and reflect! it was not the content on the screen that interested me it was the theme, i asked him what his vocation was,scientist of psychology basically, in turn he asked why i was amused at what lay before him as he watched his mass?, i responded i cant validate using science to hear the imaginary, is the best answer i came up with , he said do we not start with the imaginary to validate science! i said who decides what gets to be imaginary? he said if someone wrote a book about invisible jane and years later they started the church of jane and what they did would not hurt anyone its alright!i said but they would be worshiping jane and not... say your imaginary god, would that not make them wrong? yes because mine is the real god!, i said is it not vanity to say yours is right and all the other ones wrong? he said no because mines the real one! but i said that's what they say!, they are pagans!he said! i said so you are a scientist of psychology and you are calling people pagans because they dont believe in the same imaginary people you do? he said after a long pause and i quote "oh my goodness what have i done! all these years, we are stupid!"

my opinion

for some readers who do not agree with me, these are just my feelings, emotions, opinions, and just one man, we all have different ways of looking at things, it makes each of us unique!!,yes sometimes i write out of love or anger sometimes out of frustration, it is my need to express myself, even if no one reads what i write!, if i cant get my thoughts out as i do, i think i would feel a little lonelier!, and once again i am giving of myself now, please, you dont have to agree with me but do not call me names or hate! as this is not something in me to do to you!. with love to my readers michael jameson oldantiqueguy@hotmail.com and yes i am 44

funny

funny, i come here for comfort, but not in the beginning, i came here to make a statement! of many things as can be read and thought!, but now its my getaway to an electronic "diary of no interruptions" and to my readers thanks again for emailing me and not commenting here except when necessary!,back on topic! ive actually traded some nature time for it!this wired world!, but ive decided to take it out of my reading time!, funny the older i get the less i want to live others lives and live my own, for most its the other way round!, i dont my life to surmount to others lives but to my own!,, isnt it interesting that no one can judge you on how you look or what you wear here! sure you can make up a life here, but why, and which one is the real you!,,i am also not a mentor,im a story teller and express some things that cause me grief!,and yes i get a little to passionate sometimes! and i do wish i had been born in an earlier time sometimes,and sometimes i feel like an old gunslinger thats hung up his guns and just sits there looking at them!, and thats my time here for now!.

i am

i am not unreasonable nor am i a child, i am in this world with all others and have my own set of joys,fears,problems and tears as the next! i make my own happiness and others make it for me! i am science nature and philosophy! i have many beliefs not ones borrowed or pushed upon me by others who think their way is the only and right way!,i am an animal like the bison or the birds,yes my thumbs are opposable and i am aware of consciousness and my own mortality ! i have dreams and wishes ! wants and needs! i love people pets science and nature! and for who i am im persecuted for my ideas and the way i want to look at things ! so i am not scared of death its parts of life! im happy here till im not! do not try to brainwash me in to thinking your way is the only way! and i have to have your god weather she has 7 arms or a guy with a long beard!, and if im going to whatever you call "hell"the three words say in your particular book fire brimstone etc! so in conclusion dont try and save this happy person your the only ones making me unhappy! leave me as i am!!!!!.