the time has come

each passing calendar event reminds me of the monotony of time passing year after year!, though i am happy i must change what i do so who i am, so the short time i have left will not pass me by as weekly chores and routine!, i feel i have a wife like no other, who will support me and hold my hand as i walk down any path, for she is truly what a man looks for in a woman even one as myself.

your answer john

okay john here is an answer you may understand a bit more!,you say you have read all my stuff so here it is.... fact, mithra horus and krishna all born 1000 years before christ all born on dec 25 all healed the sick fed the hungry,walked on water and killed for their beliefs and arose after three days two out of the three said they would return one day!, now lots of people still believe in krishna but as christ was the last one of the four most figure he is the one to put their money on!, in the u.s.a. there is a man of mexican decent who says he is the christ returned? he has 2 million followers and makes millions of dollars from it in private he says he works 2 hours a week except when he is on vacation he just reads from a book "bible" and shouts a lot and money is needed, and people send him tons of cash! it works! but says he will deny that he is misguiding the people! try and understand this john ,if you cant prove he is wrong or that there is heaven ,hell, gods, sons of gods, and you cant prove something that is not there, then people will believe in it, if it makes them feel good or takes away their fears or says only good things then you will believe it! because you cant say they do things wrong!,,,,,,,and "no" a person cant live in a big fish for three days!, but the people who preach these things say its all for interpretation ? and you cant argue that! they have worked out all the answers over years and change it accordingly!,,,if you want to believe in something you will!!! thats why most people believe in conspiracy theories of one kind or another!!, the mormons all think they have magic underwear and it protects them from bullets, knives or harm?! and there are millions of them! check out the church of scientology its a registered religion, the guy who started it wanted to see if it would work!? l ron hubbard he was my favorite science fiction novelist! he started a church and it still operates and he said he wanted to see if he could get millions to join and he did!?!? well john i hope this answers your question ?.

how can we

how can one man be ashamed for what man has done to the earth, the enviroment, we have destroyed thousands of species through our not caring and pollution , we are at the top of the food chain so we can do as we please? no! it is our responsibility to maintain our enviroment, we should only feel responsible for our self alone, and effect change where we can, large corporations half to take the onus upon themselves to do their part, but one man can make a difference for his world for him and each person has his world if we all take responsibility for his piece of turf one day we can be proud of not only you but your people.

you cant perceive this

you are the only entity you will ever know!, the entire universe, all you see think know is in your head!, yours is the only reality that matters to you!, to start you are a brain with tools attached to it and you feed it and pump oxygen into it and expel waste, you have a life span and then you are no more! you remember nothing before you were born and the same when your brain dies! you go through your life with an agenda to keep yourself alive and as happy as possible, the conscious part of the brain that you are is 1/5 the other 4/5 ths is your sub conscious forcing you to be alive regulating your body and keeping you safe, you live by a set of laws forced on you by society so we can live with other brains in harmony, your brain is highly acceptable to brainwashing it is how we learn and why most of the populace gives money and believes in imaginary gods because they cannot face the idea of the brain dieing and losing all of their stored memories and it eases death as they are told they are just going into another room or a nice garden, it is easy to accomplish this brainwashing as the brain knows the difference between right and wrong, so if you keep telling people things they know are right they believe all you say is right! the government does it the media does it, hell i used to do it in high school to get the girls and it works, we all use it without knowing it and to a great degree it depends on strength of character, some use it to make millions and as we know hitler did it to a whole country! i have done it to large audiences for training and personal gain, now i stand so strongly against it!!! there are millions of mormons who think they have magic underwear and even bullets cant harm them??,its that easy to brainwash people, they believe they have very strong character yet there is something in them to alter fact from fiction! fear for the most part with a need to be taught and entertained put that mixture with a dash of this and that and you can brainwash people the dash is charm and another or two that believe you! in other words we can all start a church! i know a guy an atheist who did it just to make a few million dollars, i could not bring myself to do it he said he would start me out i just had to read from a book once a week to a crowd they all have heard of it so you will have cash flow forever!.. you cant do that to people its just not right,,,

the answer

the answer to go through life is to strive to to be as humble as possible, not so much as to not be happy! or to stand up for those who need help! but to keep the idea of being humble in the foremost of your mind ! as that becomes second nature you will have ended stress and many of the problems within yourself that causes them! it starts with being courteously to those you meet, you will find success will slowly come your way!!. that is a saying from budda 5000 years ago i may have written the words slightly different as it has been many years since i read them but the meaning is correct!

annoyed

we all know someone and we are guilty of it ourselves sometimes, but it is not for the childish reasons most do it!, MAKING OTHERS LOOK BAD TO MAKE THEMSELVES LOOK GOOD !!, when you are 4-12 in age okay! people have been doing it forever! call someone a witch and you wont be called one yourself! there's an old scottish saying if you dont have anything nice to say about someone dont say anything at all!, when your an adult no one wants to hear someone who only says the bad points about others all the time if at all! its petty! we all and i stress all have our bad points or mistakes or bad habits! so look at yourself and your own bad points before you talk to or about others!, because most adults will think " so what" and if they do it all the time people are going to start talking about you and say that person never has anything good to say about anyone so what are they saying about me when im not around ? and you will notice those people will have very few friends!! unless they are the same or pity them!!! its something to think about ??????

my near future

the time has come for me to start experimenting with the drugs im on to improve the quality of life i have!, they are all doctor prescribed yet i have to get off and change the amounts to a lower dosage, im to sleepy and im sore now if i get off some or lower the amount will i be any more sore? i have to pharmaceuticaly induce sleep or i wont sleep! i can induce a trance like sleep to the point where i can watch my dreams in my head!, its very cool but im also petting the cat and listening to the radio at the same time! but thats just a nap "sort of" , im going to lessen the amounts of drugs slowly and observe the results!? its strange because the qualityy of life is not going up between me and my spouse "in my eyes", and it has to change! if im not happy she is unhappy because of it! vicious circle eh!,, so im going to try and take myself off of three of the most addictive drugs known to man by myself!?!? i truthfully would rather be in some of the war zones i have been in during my younger days,that i no longer speak of!,, its about my future do i want one and what kind of one do i want? i think i liked it better when i used to drink and enjoyed life and who i was and what i did!,, funny you cant make all of the people happy all of the time including yourself! well lets see how it goes!

the age reward

hoorah! if you have reached the age where you dont care what people think of how you dress keep your home! you get to be comfortable with who you are! not caring how other people think of you if your different!,,we have been fighting for this for many years!,,where we had to be the same dress the same have the same things talk about the same things! its not all that long ago you would be killed or burned alive for being different!, some people will always do exactly and live exactly as their parents who did the same as their parents! for shame all having past identities and rules! where as someone like me does what he wants lives how he likes has his own happiness not others!! i act within the law , i earn a living, i have a lovely wife, and loads of friends,, why should i conform to how others want me to? 12 to 17 years old you have to be identical to what the media says!, then you get to think for yourself! and soon you get to be who you are!, and seen for who you are!, its my great comfort in life! one thing you get to have in this country, we can still see in other countries that they are told who and what they will be and they have no choice or be killed!,, so when you get to the age you will find it is the reward of your life comfort!.

genius

genius comes in many forms, and for each i believe a certain amount is there,for others a large portion is there, yet for some of them they have to pay a heavy price!,for they are walking a thin blade of a sword,normality on one side and the ability to use their talents, and the other a world of insanity and indecision, it is a matter of balancing mentally! and being very careful not to let your emotions overtake your reasoning! and for some this will be the hardest event of self preservation of ones life!,there are so many variables to consider that the equations cant be calculated!,,there are drugs yet they are usually short term and "can" lead to tragedy, i could ramble on for hours on the subject! but wont! those of who i speak know of what i speak and the fact of the matter is each persons problems are so particular to to the individual that they and only they can write of their condition!.

rushing people

we all seem to have such great purpose!, i stand and watch people rushing around as if all they do is imperative! i cant do that i saunter everywhere! it has even gotten me in trouble! i read once that people do everything as fast as they can, so they can sit down and do nothing!, well read watch t.v. on a sofa or couch and the faster they get it all done the more tome they have to do it!?, well i tried it fast and slow, the results were minimal except i was more stressed rushing!, and its a proven fact you dont live as long!? , if we all just attended to our tasks normally " not rushing" we would be less stressed have the same amount of free time and live longer and see more,hear more,, but we wont do it until we cant! age slows us down and we finally realize that nothing is so important!, what the hell is wrong with people i know some people are not happy unless they are in this rushing state! kind of odd! just a thought.

sheer and utter nonsense

people speak it everyday, young, old it doesn't matter, it could be the job im in or the world we live in !, the bold face liars that i talk to every day is incredible! they have said such nonsense! i cant help myself but to prove them wrong on the spot! but its what they say when proven wrong that interests me!! i love to hear their responses! else they run from my store so ashamed at being caught!, usually its "well that is what i was told" which is boring unless the person that told them died 100 years before they were born ! im an antiquities dealer, and people bring me things to sell, and i know everything has a story! but i am a professional and I CAN READ! even something like silver, silver walks into my store everyday! and most people say its solid silver! however 99% is plated!! one lady 60+ danced up and down that her big bowl was solid silver! i told her how come it says e.p.n.s. on the bottom!, which stands for electro plated nickle silver!, no she thought for a moment and said "my grandfathers name was eric philip nigel smith" ! smiling i asked her what the A-1 after it meant !after a moment she said "well he was an a one type of guy thats why he got the bowl"! smiling i said okay but the company that made this only makes silver plate !! she said all you dealers are trying to rip me off! they all tell me the exact same thing! i shook my head and said have a nice day!.

not myself part three

one last entry on the subject is fiction what i make up using my imagination!, i can write a book or plays,scripts etc using words from ideas based in the real world, stories that one can put together for any number of titles!? events one makes up that you formulate in the mind! a spy novel, horror, mystery, drama, and one can write child's books, political ideas ,, all with bit and pieces the brain takes from all you have inside and you are only limited by your ability to conjure up and piece together,, imaginary fiction none of it actually happened to you except for slight similarities from what you have read or experienced,put together to make a story form these snippets of your brain,, in the end hoping to stir or cause emotional response in others, they will use their own imaginations to interpret your stories as they see them each one seeing it differently from the next,,,,a lie a book the imagination!...i should also talk of the inventors who use both the thinking brain and the imagination together to expand upon or use the two to create something new in the form of an invention to better or worsen mankind.

not myself part two

all i really have to give to the world is my uniqueness for there is no one who has gone through exactly what i have in the exact way , time ,, and felt the same things at the same time!! and this above all, in your own little nook in the world is what you have to contribute!, my personal identity and how i act and react! just the fact that i share of myself with others, so they know who i am and what we can do for each other to make the life journey easier and happier!..we all know we need from each other,not just food and clothing but being with others to talk make friends help and be helped, share, befriend,love, need and be needed, we are a pack animal and there is no greater joy then to love and be loved!, each of us has a great need to express themselves in joy and in sorrow else we bottle everything up inside, then we are lonely, that in it self is worse then hunger, we will become sick and die!,,now i can write more on this subject as others have using different words! it is my take on things through research and experience but all i can share with another is my own life ......except

not myself part one

my friend told me that all my works are about myself!,he asked me to use my intellect to talk on other subjects! he is right i know me best!, i find that everything has been said before, its just whether you have heard it or not! and i may speak of things, yet i was in the story to find out about it or experienced it or was there! it is true that in some form its been said before, there are no new thoughts, base ideas anyways! things have been altered to the situation but the idea is the same!, even the great philosophers and thinkers tell tales that happened to them or thoughts that came to them!,, i can tell you of the rain, politics, people, the world, or of love! but they are of how i have seen them ! how many have spoken of love, all the adjectives,languages,feelings,people are saying the same thing just differently, for i am a man like all that are have been and will be!, having the same emotions just described differently to fit the individual!, the choice of words to tell in what way hormones affected him !, yes it makes us feel not very special but it is the way!, i can speak on a variety of topics from physics to forests and tell you of things you might never have thought of in those terms before, but someone has!!! the only new things you can talk about are your own experiences and the way you experienced it, because it might be slightly different as there is only one of you!.

internet discussions

i am frightened at the words of a close friend,! even upset, my world revolves around my friends! my wife is most important yet this is not of her! i help my friends to the extent that i would take bullets for them! no matter the time i last enjoyed their company,, i am rarely in any more need from them then their company! as i have always relied upon myself! anything more then that it is my wife to whom i turn! but on this one occasion i needed to just bounce some ideas off one i know and respected, as his friend i can see the pain in his eyes and know the fake smiles hiding it!,, i was scared i had damaged or lost our friendship as he misunderstood a written conversation!,when reading a book we imagine whats going on in our minds ! when we communicate on the internet one does not add after each line"i said in a harmless way" or " i remarked with a snicker" ,so you have to know what kind of person it is? or is this a friend? or is he being smug etc..., words like lol meaning lots of laughs but those are a bit annoying!,, on the phone or better yet in person to see looks on faces ,inflections,moods,,,i cleared things up with friends over misunderstandings! but pick up the phone and call! if your not sure! and do not have to serious discussions in writing!.

a lost love refound

re-found through tragedy, it is a sad thing and a long story!, i went out with this beautiful girl we broke up, thirty years or so later we talked again due to the death of her brother who hung around a friend of mine and both were in the same accident! i felt very strongly that it was necessary to pay my respects for she loved her younger brother very much!, i could not make the funeral as i found out after the fact!, i did not know what to expect!, yet it was kindness and apologies for the events of past years! and a renewed friendship, both leading totally separate lives, but because of the extending circumstances we talked and and treated each other with friendship!, as most of our lives have gone by we will have to get to know each other all over again just to see if we do like one another or is it the situation that has brought out the kindness in each of us!, but not in this case i can hear in her words she is honest and needed to patch up a breakup from the past that has haunted her! its to bad when you cant make peace with the past!, it is always there! i think it has been sorted out if anything good came out of this tragedy! and thats enough for me !

routines must go !!!

please dont get into a comfortable routine where you do the same thing day after day, week after week ,year after year!! if you get stuck in this routine of just comfort and you are just happy settled there!! time will pass you by! you will start to ask where the time gos ? weeks months then years !, as you have done nothing or very little different!, its the same thing over and over again!, oh!! you may be happy and have everything all sorted to the point that you dont even have to move very far for anything !?!?! but you have stagnated you made it so your almost scared to go out into the world! for shame ! adventure is just a word! is that who you are or is it just what you have become?? think about it?..... are you just living on your memories?

the life of one and all

i have done the things in life meant to do!, i lack the rearing of offspring for the desire and circumstances and life got in the way! and age came upon me as the responsibility was there!, i was reared and schooled, traveled setting out on my own to discover the world and what it had to offer! from war, barbarism, to sights of such grand reverence and people with tales and philosophies! cultures that still had know idea of the planes that flew above there heads!,to people that had truly learned from the past and were content and just smiled at the likes of me, for they knew man and they knew themselves!,they had no need to quarrel,at best a very humble debate,, i thought i would return one day but the chance of it being changed scares me to much!, i have experienced love hate and all in between!, to quick did i use my body that as a vessel it causes me pain in waking hours!,now i am with wife home and business and countless friends!, this the final act of comfort as the days of high adventure are behind me, the skills and talents so honed for survival and ability have no meaning or use for my age and lifestyle!,left is learning more,social behavior,and memories!,and events to release endorphins from the brain!, we all end up in these circumstances where we philosophize who and how we should be and excel to be this person! and hope is there that those you meet might retain part of the goodness that is you!,and we can smile knowing that we lived and had lives that no one but you can understand what life meant to you!.

i have met me long ago

i have just met myself when i was a younger man ! the man is or was just on a quest that i was on long ago! looking for the answers and there has to be more then this !?, most are the building blocks of who we are! or could be,,he is at the leveling off stage where its the philosophies learned that are used and kept in the forefront!, but the plateau is there!and one can stay on this plateau and and use different words and hear things said other ways that were the original set of philosophies! there are two paths are in front of him, one he can stay on this level and teach, speak, read, and use what he knows in the ways he can!,,yet one more path may lie ahead i have met very few that have taken this path! and it will not be discussed here today for it is a chosen path and must be discovered by oneself which is rare!, or, asked by the person from someone who is willing to and thinks he is deserving for the directions!. to my other readers and followers sorry but this was intended for an individual who knows of what i speak!, hope i did not confuse you to much! michael jameson

alone

who are we when we are alone?, i used to think that i was the same person i was when with people!, and i was just part of whatever i was doing at the time!, i have found this to be a wrong assumption on my part!, i am completely honest with myself alone! i mean i think the thoughts that out of politeness i would not say openly!, i am forever having great conversations with myself! people are most sad when they are alone in general!, yet i truly enjoy being alone! and enjoy my own company!?, some people live in fear of being alone and ruin their lives because of it!?, it might be that i like who i am and the life ive led?, or perhaps its the talents i have, so i do things that im proud of when alone!, but i think a lot when alone about me and life for me past present and future?, as far as im concerned i think to much ,but that cant be helped!, i worry as much as anyone i imagine!,,i am convinced that we are different people when alone? that cant be proved!, i would be interested in others opinions on this!? and their thoughts as i would like to form some sort of agreeable answer! thankyou michael jameson oldantiqueguy@hotmail.com

my own humanity

i do some writing and observations for the thoreau's society and a blog that i make observations on!, today the anger that welled up in me over reading someone else's "observation" made me hate myself for feeling this way!, at my age now i am a very gentle man and other then man hurting man i do not get angry! yet the site of thoreau is to teach and to give people understanding in many ways ! to make them think and appreciate the nature and the world around them!, people can make observations if they like! , i do every day, mostly i translate his work into ideas understandable in today's world!. today someone had made a simple observation and then had lists of ball caps for sale?! i know it disgusted the followers of this site philosophers students and teachers alike ! to cheapen such a mans work!, yet Thoreau talks and defines human nature! and he tells us in his own way that this is the nature of man! good or bad! i dont have to like it but it is not worthy of me to respond in anger for all to see! and i will make an apology and move past my anger and learn from it, it is the cost of being human.

a friendship renewed

i am taken aback at the reunion of an old friend!, i was but a lad to the world and had not left it to become a man! my friend was older and we spent a good deal of time pursuing teenage acts of girls, wine and song,!my friend was older buy a few years and taught me a great deal!, there was even time for admiration to a degree!,but as fortune had it, it was time for me to leave and take a path that was calling me!,parting just by fortune! years passed and once more our lives crossed and we were friends again!, we had lived a good part of lifes journey and we were both eager to tell of our lives adventures of sorrow and glory, reunited to once again play as the young men we were, yet we are adults with full lives! i am filled with the excitement of bygone days with the knowledge of the many lives i have led ! we cannot talk fast enough to one another! imparting who we are and and where we are! still with wants and needs but not as many, its like we almost never parted! the smiles and laughter are still there , and we know what friendship is!.

damn buffalo damn beaver

that it what was said ! they hunted these animals almost to extinction, and there were countless numbers of them!, shot with guns hides ripped off them ate their tongues and left them there to rot!! then blamed the animals that there were not more of them to kill!!! it took the food source of the native people away, who only took what they needed and used all of it! but to blame the animal because you killed them all what kind of a mentality must you have!?? and even today hunters who hunt for sport are so proud of themselves for using semi automatic rifles to kill defenseless animals! where and how can you feel proud of yourself?? anyone with a finger can pull a trigger?? these are uneducated people trying to kill off deer whats left of a few species and blame them!!?, i mean those people must be so uneducated that they cant read this observation im making!!, "" i have gun me kill deer people think im big man put head on wall"" how many of these people die crossing the road! i forgot to look both ways? ya their eyes were caught in the headlights!!!! if i get one email telling me how much fun it is to murder animals! dont read my works ever again and dont even bother to email me!!!! you wont like my response!!!, and thats all i have to say about that!.

summers for living

summer is the time we really get to enjoy who we are! the cold blanket of snow has left and we are witness to a multitude of birth and rebirth!,all is green and warm,the people are happier once again after spending so much time inside, its a rebirth for ourselves, a chance for us to change and start again if need be,,we shed our winter clothes and are warmed by the sun,we see and hear the birds and animals after their own slumbers and migrations, people in general are happier because their bodies and spirits have healed, the colors and aromas of a thousand flowers are everywhere to brighten our days. simple things like having coffee with my wife on the porch in the morning are relaxing and make the day worthwhile! just to start it with a simple gesture!, laughter is abundant with my friends who also enjoy the season!, its almost a reward for those long winter days!, may we all enjoy this time of year to let your spirits soar and realize our problems are a little bit smaller when you can take a walk and talk to a friend or loved one for no reason at all!!,enjoy this time and shine as bright as your spirit wishes!.

my marriage

i seem to have a few friends who hate their wives!? why they stay married is beyond me? even more important what changed? from love and marriage to hate and staying together and having a miserable life forever?, i cant see it! im not an idiot and i know there's divorce and usually after a couple of years when people find out that they are not right for each other!,or one or both people comes out with there true traits that they didnt have before there vows!, i was married young myself and will not put blame on either side! and say we rushed the relationship a bit, fast before we knew what each others true colors were! but i wont be irresponsible and put all the blame on just one of us!,,i have a wife now i love with all my heart and we are good for each other! we have our scrapes and irritations but we talk things out like adults and we bend for each other!,people are not perfect and a relationship is never a perfect thing so we understand that and we wont let it get to the point of such anger!,because its a thing we dont like not each other!! we love each other and we must keep that at the front of everything!,we even change together as we spend time we grow, each of us and some things change! but we still complete each other!,or add a little to one another to make something nice!, i still remember what loneliness was and i will never have that again!, i will have a warm smile and someone to hold! we can count on each other to be there for them! and thats what marriage is about and should never be forgotten.

people amuse me

people amuse me to no end, usually its there stupidity!!! they will complain endlessly over things!!, one its something they can fix! but refuse to take the necessary steps to end their annoyance!? or two they have no control over the event so why complain!? its like saying at night time its dark and i dont like it ! well so what?!, everyday people complain about the government! i ask them if they have a better system? they all respond no! then dont complain about it, its the best system we have! and its a far sight better then most!,,i think they have nothing better to say so they complain rather then saying nothing!, they live in one of the best countries on earth! if they dont like it move! you have a roof over your head, a job, food on the table, kids,2 cars, and a wife of their choosing! hospitals, schools, friends,!? vacations,and more!!, i tell them of the people that would trade places with them, no they dont want that!! ya you got it pretty good !!! they shut up!! for a minute and start complaining about their wives ! you married her you dont like it divorce her! well the kids the house!!, i say you got one life are you going to live in such misery and waste it! they say i have no choice ! awww! poor you ! suck it up , and talk to me when you have something positive to say!!.

the party

every year for the last several years i have held a party at my house! i hold it at a strange time from 2 till six! thats it! the guests do not have to bring anything its all provided! but the guests are well varied! from the well to do, cab drivers,etc, every type of person you can think of! its a garden party and sometimes it rains and others are warm and sunny! some of the people are young and some old, no one there has anything in common with anyone else except me!?,,its amazing how well everyone gets along! no one is left out! and i try and circulate as much as i can! i get to see these people pretty much any time i like! i do it to see them all happy at once together its quite a thrill to see the people you know together and happy for a couple of hours! the cost of a couple of cases of beer and a few bottles of wine!, when i was a teen at one time we had a party every weekend and sometimes during the week! i have a couple of parties a year now and go to a few! what changed! i used to work at a bar and thursdays i would stay and drink with the boys!,once a week not now? why its the same guys at the bar! they are there pretty much every night i know why they are there!!?? thats it i was hoping i would think of an answer writing this! and i found it!!! my wife!! i love my wife!, once i married her i got all the companionship i wanted! the humor! the best friend! the love and care! all i need!, i still go out to the bar once a month or more but im happy with my wife she makes me happy enough and more!,i like the answer i found!

child of morning

our children wake from their beds, rush, and go to school,weekends and holidays rise late the morning has passed them by!sad! even where houses are plenty, an adult must have the child wake early!,even with a coffee sit down on a back porch and waken with the world!!!as the world wakes so will he !! and notice that his own senses came alive with our world, the song of robins and sparrows! the smell of dew rising from the warmth of the sun which opens the flowering plants!, and a morning like this will be there for him for all time!he will go through that day slightly different then he would!, he will have an enhanced feeling of senses that day that will teach him a life lesson he will not understand it ! just where it came from!..Few will do this for a child and think it of no importance!!, then they should perhaps do it for themselves!. i wonder how many people have ever seen or experienced morning A REAL MORNING.

on this soil i was born

on this soil i was born!a native canadian i am not an american indian my forefathers were european! the origins of the people of this land crossed form the north from what is now russia by a bridge that no longer exists and to the south by tribes of the south american continent in the great lakes region vicious tribes lived and would be at war constantly!,early settlers of northern europe were slaughtered here by them,centuries later england settled in large numbers,the first being slaughtered but there were to many with advanced weapons!, every country on earth has been brutally murderous and conquered and have conquered! we have all done it!, brutal rapes, pillaging,murderous wars and spreading infections to the present day!, our country got its independence from britain in 1967 we were no longer under brittish rule!,now germany killed and tortured millions of people in the 30's and 40's should the descendants pay restitution forever? should italy pay restitution to the world for its atrocities forever and every country that has committed the same deeds do the same?,every country would have to be sorry and pay restitution to everybody forever?,like i said i am a native canadian born here,i am a gentle man and have never committed atrocities against my fellow man,i feel for anyone that has been hurt throughout the history of man! there is no tribe or nation who has not committed inhuman acts against another,i know of the atrocities my great great forefathers did and was done to them!! i feel for my fellow man and was told i was responsible for my forefathers? do i give my home ? do i walk forever in shame! should the christians all hang there heads forever, more people have died in the name of christianity then anything else? where do we draw the line or should there be a line? is britain responsible we were a colony?, NO i will help those i can and and be kind to my fellow man no matter the race! i will not feel shame of the world, as i to come from a conquered race! every day we have said we are civilized for thousands of years?, yet we are not! we have a long way to go! i have so many crosses to bare as do others! let us try each of us to deal with our own pains and learn from history and let us evolve past wars and pain! as i will deal with my own pain and shame!.

a story

one can never know the full content of another!, i have known people who's lives can be summed up in a few words!,school,job,family,retirement,the end,,,,,oh they have a vacation and a wedding a couple of things thrown in! and these people are truly happy!!, nothing wrong with that!!, it was not for me it was the early school years and home life! i needed more i was not impressed with "so thats all there is"!,so i set out!,i wanted more at any expense! and it was done without money and with it! travel, jobs, people and culture! ideas from people thousands of miles away! learning what most never new existed and media wont cover so much!,wars are everywhere! so many people want to live alone or in communes because of people and what they do makes them sick!,most of them are long gone now,i wonder if they have been replaced by others!i remember a people that lived above the clouds on mountain inlets,they had flowers as big as cars! the smell knocked you back!,i always wondered if the world had caught up to them yet! that would be a very sad thing!,i met a man who had been in a war and lived on a hill alone,forgot how old he was, the year. and lived by the seasons! many times i wish i had stayed with him! he was jolly and wise! leaving him was very hard!,today i am often somber when i recollect these times! no one wants to even hear the stories!?!?, news, work,complaining,wants,jokes and family and sports!, i hold on tight when i find people that have more to offer! and kept my wife who is half crazy!!,there are so many worlds within worlds here,it was good to see them and to see the poorest people be the most contented, we should be with people! yet being with them will change you and there is very little you can do about it,,in the end be happy and dream.

for myself !

i have to write this to try and get it out of my system, it still hurts! i had a friend and we were like brothers! almost every day for 2 years or more we hung out!,we would play and laugh like schoolboys! he collected toys thats how i met him! and thats the kind of shop i have! he even had a key to my house and business! we helped each other with everything!,always thrilled to see each other! it was perfect! then one day i got a very large shipment of toys in! there were loads of them! and he asked if he could buy a few of them! sure i said! the next day my high end toy guy came over and bought several things! me trying to keep my pals aside!but one got confused! my pal was there and said nothing just see you later!,next day he showed up at my door with the keys of mine and everything i had at his place the friendship was over!?, i did not understand and i was hurt and am still hurt! i even still consider him my friend!,a mutual acquaintance said to me mike did it not ever dawn on you that you were his only friend? and it hadn't!,,i make a point now with new friends that you cant be the kind of person that will throw away a friendship over something like one misunderstanding or to talk and see if we can fix the problem first!!,,, i dont know if this helped me? i would be his friend again in a second!, maybe one day we will talk over a beer!

compassion

time and time again i talk of passion!, to do this, or feel this,for one self it is high time i write of "compassion" for others or another! and im not talking about, "you get what you give" true as it is!,or giving a few dollars to help the orphans?,i know people who go to church and while they are there the level of compassion they show is grand! the way they talk and help and think it is a high they get and the chemicals flow through their bodies! and it makes them feel a true sense of elated character and are surrounded by others, it makes some cry and feint and feel exalted!, but after church is over how they change!! the chemicals leave their bodies and its like an addict they become moody and irritable, that is a proven fact!, they are reverting back to who they really are! soon they are comfortable in their own skin again as they realize, this!is who they are! and sundays are their drug!!!,, the thing is we can have this every day by feeling compassion by how you treat others!? strangers,elderly,even friends who need!, opening doors,kind words,carrying something,etc,etc,the list is end less!! the same chemicals are released in small doses and you might even notice a small smile on your face!,,and you have shown compassion and helped your fellow man.

who are they?

thanks scott for letting me share my answer to you with others!. i will never say another man is out and out wrong! i may disagree but i will go no further,especially when it comes to thoreau!, i have not walked that mile in his shoes!,nor have i lived his life the way he lived his!,,i have not grown up the same or in the same time frame,schooling,parents,brain activity,experiences,memory,culture,personality differences,the list is endless!,, and one man should never profess to know the mind of another!,, i have wonderful debates with friends and strangers for that matter and i enjoy nothing more then hearing another mans perspective on things,which can alter my own or add to it, and change it!!!,to learn from another who is willing to share with you, is one of the greatest gifts one can give to another!. michael jameson oldantiqueguy@hotmail.com

the answer

i found it !!!!! why people ignore me with a pleasant good morning or why they wont comment on thoreau's site!!! i wrote the answer in my other site!!! its FEAR!!!!! people are terrified !, to look like their stupid or their friends might see it and tease them! or shun them!, the media has scared them so much, crime and tragedy on the front pages, movies! they dont think so but they live in fear!, family and a few close friends their house with locks scared of the world! what a horrible way to live!!! and you cant change it!. read my story on thoreau and beyond on webs site builder the populace are terrified to live!!!! and people died so we could speak freely!! shame on you ! you have ideas , stories , feelings! ITS YOUR WORLD TO SHARE TOO

once again people, help me

the never ending behavior of people astonishes me!! and again a woman walking down the main street, i say good morning with a smile and this woman walks by with nothing!, i say "how civilized" loud enough for her to here! then i greet a man good morning and he replies morning! the woman is looking at me pointing to herself, i nod, oh! the stare i got!?????? i need someone to write me and tell me why when someone mostly woman are greeted with good day in passing im ignored??? im a good looking guy still! its women from 30-50, older people are happy to be greeted! younger may do it out of respect?,men always seem to do it! so what is it ???? and if i say how civilized after! they react then?! so fear cant be it!? so will a kind reader help me if they can? please im baffled? michael jameson oldantiqueguy@hotmail.com

passion lost

i react upon my passions !! we all do!, passions lost are one of the things that can destroy the spirit!! and if to many passions are lost and there are no new ones to take there place!, a horrible thing happens!,,depression!, followed by loss of ambition and drive!, then you do things because they need to be done ! you eat just to take in nourishment! and even deciding what to eat is a chore!,,, instead of creating you let the box entertain you! then sleeping becomes trouble!!! you either sleep just not to be awake or you cant sleep and you must be drugged to sleep!!,, and the depressed person is not an idiot! he knows and sees it going on and he even understands !? its the amount of care! he just doesn't care ! and if he does care it makes it worse!,that's when he needs to get help!! and mostly from themselves!! they need a passion back or find a new one!!! the more passions one has the happier one is! passion lets you create show talent makes yourself feel good!! lets others in! gives you strength! a future!, life! and any life is worth living! its what you get! and when it comes right down to it! its all you get! everything else you have to work for or hard at! even if you start with a journal! and for heavens sake dont put down ate watched t.v. and went to bed!.

not again and no more of them

freedom of the press! thats what your doing when writing here! its writing that is open to all to read without repression ! yet i have been told to change it and it has been used against me!!! to hurt my feelings,to make me look stupid,and that it might hurt another?,,, it so true i tell you that the ones closest to you can hurt you the most!,your caring level is higher towards them!. i will not share any more of my blog sites with with certain individuals!, for i am still a man and have every emotion,feeling,weakness,strength,as every other man !! and thomas i now understand why you would not write!?! you told me you did not want family and friends seeing and playing with your feelings and using them in jest! i will not stop writing yet methinks i will be select when allowing the ones dearest to me where i write!! How sad indeed!!! when my feelings and expressions are to be edited " what good is it when i cant even sing to you" , when your work becomes that of another! even subconsciously ! i hear it come out and my own head shakes !,, i am told to weigh the responses? so many glorious thank yous, new friends, students, people of conscious, philosophers,teachers, my heart and my thanks is with them!.

IF KINDNESS COULD FLOUISH

why is kindness not taught in schools? why is it a personal choice!! does it make people feel better to be unkind !! "no" i have talked to many people and their regrets are always about being unkind! and they wish they could change what they did or who they were!! they were a bully in school or they teased someone to the point of tears! and the list goes on!, but the people who were teased or bullied carry that with them for the rest of their lives!!it plays a part i molding who they will be!,,,,,,if there are only two groups in school the teased and the teasers! i dont want to go to school!, i dont want kids to go to school!, and if it is carried on into adulthood we've gone wrong! our society has gone wrong! because we have people who live in fear and people who live in hate!.. I get these emails with pretty pictures telling me to enjoy life! there nice! but here is a mind blowing idea what if we told people to be kind to their fellow man!! send pictures of a bully teasing someone!! they will remember!!! and think!?!? and atone or make an extra effort to,share ,care , help others and be kind! does it take so much? are we that selfish?, i understand it will make you feel good! is that such a bad thing?, be kind and dont sit in the middle! some people i will and some i wont!.

where we seldom go , for scott

when i was a young lad not sure of the age 11-12-13 i read a book for young adults it was about a boy who read thoreau and want to live in the woods for a few months!,well it hit me!!! life at home was not so good so i saved and bought a copy of walden and camping gear!. i took a bus to the wilds of british colubia, in land, shoveled a hole in the side of a hill, in a bit of an ell shape and put an orange pup tent against it! i remember passing by a tree and getting dirt on me, brushing it off and calling myself an idiot for doing it,i was not going to wash those jeans for a while! i tell you i knew hunger! and spent most of my time trying to feed myself!. hunger and loneliness were on my mind constantly !, thoreau read by a fat lamp that smelled rotten!, or my cook fire, was my friend and i read it a lot understanding it more and more! i knew he was on the edge of town and several years later i found out the book i read was fiction! i felt like i was an idiot for being the one that actually did live in the wild ! until i realized all tribes of indians etc,have done the same yet they had company!, i did meet some travelers! and i offered but hated parting with my food! and i hated jumping in the river to clean my self but i couldn't stand my smell!.rabbit and fish were on the menu day after day and berries! and if the plant was not bitter i ate it, i did look up some things before i went there, i was malnourished the whole time but it was the need for people that made me leave!,well scott you asked and i hope i answered your question!and i beg of you not to do it!! its fear,hunger,bears are a pain in the ass and if you hurt yourself? no hospital!!we are not meant to be alone as a people!!!

the loss of laughter

its not right that we loose the laughter we had as a child!! i would giggle and roll on the floor till my sides were sore?,tell people to stop, your killing me!, i still like a good joke and smile quite a bit!and have a little laugh the odd time!, but not the laugh that would bring tears to my eyes!,why?, a few reasons! we had no problems that we had to take care of we were fed,clothed,sheltered! the big worries in life were years away!, we were also experiencing emotions in our earliest years and every emotion was a big release of chemicals, so even when we cried it was for hours sometimes we didn't even know why! and some things we did not understand and you have kids running around playing at funerals and the like. i suppose as a teen you forced yourself not to laugh to look cool!, embarrassment as we age to both parties if you laugh far to hard as an adult?!, plus you always have something in the back of your mind to worry you! i.e. money,people,etc, well i want that feeling back!! and im going to try to laugh and like a fool if thats the case!!! feelings are important to me! as they should be for all of us!, and the more we suppress them the less human we are!.

what now

the most asked question to me is what do i do now? "is this it" i did the things i wanted to do!, whether its raise a family!, travel,grown up,filled their dreams! now what!!, do i just go along like this till i die in this monotonous plain!?!?,,, my answer is always the same "no" and i dont tell people to take up woodworking either!, if you have done the places and things its time to do the people! they are the most fascinating of all experiences the world has to offer! the bonds and the friends you can make! when i go to a different country its not the churches and castles, i saw them, and there all the same!, but the people! the local people and their lives and ways they have of looking at things can enrich you beyond belief! my deepest emotions and smiles have come from their emotions and smiles!,from the people in the next county to thousands of miles away!,even books will let you grasp why people are the way they are,become a student of people! use the internet find the people!! i have a close friendship with a man in uganda!, also remember whatever you have done it only amounts to a tiny fraction of the things to do! broaden your horizons! everyone has a story to tell! write! keep your mind as that of a child!, keep yourself happy! you have one life dont waste it by stagnating!!, SHOW THE WORLD WHAT YOU HAVE TO OFFER!!

HATE

i just wrote about hate on another site! in particular about racism and i still need to get it out of my system!!, we do not hate other people, we might hate what they do or how they have been taught or even brainwashed, but we do not hate because there different! and we have no right to force our beliefs on them !, some people believe that their way is the right way and the only way! if they are not hurting anybody let them have what makes them happy!and be who they are! unless they have been psychologically forced to do what they do!, but just because you are white, someone brown should not hate you! and if you are irish a person from ghana should not hate you!, we are all different because we were born in a certain part of the world, so if you do hate for one of those reasons its stupid!, should i hate you because your stupid? no! you just have not learned somethings yet! let us strive for humanity to each other before all else!, or, it will be short against tall!, left handed against right handed!, and one day someone will come to this planet and find out that we were a stupid people!, if you need to hate , hate yourself for hating .

time has marched on

for some reason time marches on and we cant help but changing who we are with it!,we start to slow down and our attitudes become more gentle or bitter depending on how loss has effected you ! other things too but mainly loss!, accepting who you are and the fact that life works a certain way and its pretty much the same for everyone! our appreciation of many things become dearer to us! some of us try hard to hold on to the past!, personal change is hard and routines are as we like them !, some regard the future with fear! and thats a shame but very understandable !, i wish people would regard the future as exciting to the end!. never stop exploring what you can do,we are capable of a great many things, and the imagination does not set limits! and we learn a great many things as we age!, whats important to us changes many times during our life and the one thing we must never do is to forget the past!,it made you who you are and how you look at things!, its the meaning you struck upon the earth, to other people and will be carried and passed on to all those you have come in contact with.

is it getting better

is it getting better since ww2 things have changed ,progressed ? the family unit is not as it was 100 years ago even the games in boxes that family and friends could play 20 years ago are gone! people may sit together in a room but apart!.Stimulus boxes of some shape are entertaining us!, we do not need the company of others! these boxes t.v., computers, hand held electronic games, no laughter! no sharing! oh you can watch a movie together but its entertaining you personally ! the stories of the past handed down through the generations are lost or we are losing them!! ww1 all but forgotten ! a couple more generations and ww2 will be lost and why we went to war!, people died !,lost legs and eyes!,,, we lived simple lives for each other now we live for ourselves!, to hell with this new way of life!!! people are loosing there identity and we are all becoming part of the machine!,childhood memories are of playing video games in the basement not fishing and exploring! road hockey, ball, We are the last or second last generations to not be scared of there neighbors! this is the end of people who cared about who we were and where we came from with feelings! it will just be something in the history books and old tales!.

someone special

i have just found a woman writer that enthralled me !!! a vary special woman with the willingness to share of herself with those that care to listen to her words!! she is a very thoughtful woman of great observation and reflection!!,, i know her yet we have never met!,,,,no!, i know some of who she is from her expression of the world around her!!, on occasion but rarely i come across another writer with a spirit of this magnitude that i will make the effort to contact and and hope for a response! dont get me wrong many have asked for my help and for discussion but sometimes one can touch my person on my journey with great ????? i dont have the word and im not just going to put in anything!, even shapes of the past have importance to her soul!! and i thank her for being her!.

jackie

i had an evening with my wife and it should have been set to music! there just should have been a song playing in the background! like nothing ever slipped away from our relationship! it was a grand time from beginning to end, it was just nice, she came home we hugged we went for a walk and bought potato chips and had some beside the river! we walked home talking a bit and hung a vine in the garden!, we made dinner watched television and at some point each of us went to bed!,,it was pleasant simple and we did not complain much ! a simple evening husband and wife talking holding hands! it was a joyous occasion every couple on earth experiences countless times! i just wish music , a theme song or something was playing for us in the background! .

alive

its still and forever going to be the most profound feeling one will ever have! to be aware! use the senses! think,observe,reflect absorbing the surroundings, to communicate to express!!!!! to read to write ! to be entertained ! feelings love hate being with a friend a soul mate !!!! to win to lose to experience loss , a thrill, art, music amused parents to fly travel and to be intoxicated !!!!!!! to be scared to laugh to feel wanted and needed, to know to have a home to have a pet ,, chocolate have a favorite to swim, woman time the sun warmth cozy creative touch tender tickle shaking hands, a child is born, light sunsets !, sharing ! friends helping! culture silly ,,,, a shower !! color smell coffee smiles pain fear joy bliss sleep wake written for my friend bill.

just one disability

having a disability one or more ! no one knows what it does to you but you! some have a similar one and can share some feelings! , but you are your own person and no one but you can understand what it does to you or how it effects you! its your life thats been broken and there your losses that you dont get to enjoy, and damn if the the loss of a spouse or a child is not a disability i dont know what is!, personally i would give both legs and an arm for what i have lost and mine is in the head! among other things i lost my identity or most of it and had to rebuild it again, and i liked who i was! and building an identity when you have lost who you were is not easy!, you have to listen a lot of others perspectives of you and your mind relates back in a similar response, but you always have a nagging morsel of your former self and it hurts not being able to grasp any more of it!!. i also could not write this unless i was writing it! that wont make sense to most! but i would have forgotten my train of thought and if interrupted would have no idea what i was writing about unless reading it!. now imagine that when talking?, if someone goes off topic for a second thats where my thoughts go and i cant remember what we were talking about!,not going mad is something i have to control! when i get feeble minded at an elderly age if i reach it i will be institutionalized ! great thing to always have on your mind?, so they were right genius borders on insanity!!!!.

compassion

compassion is a hard subject to write about!! you either have it or you dont!, and you work towards having it! or you dont !,it can be the most wonderful quality one can have! just to have it within ones family is the greatest gift you can give them!you cannot give compassion to yourself!you have it in your heart to give to others! its an understanding of ones feelings and acting in a manner that only makes them feel good!,i think it is one of the most beautiful quality's that one can have!, even at the cost of your own pain to give of yourself for ones comfort!, we go through alot of trials in life and are hurt many times so to a degree we can understand pain in another and this is why we are compassionate!, i have found the less pain one has gone through the less compassion they show or they can only show it it some areas! the ones that have gone through a lot of pain in a lot of areas show the most compassion!, its sad really!,but in most cases reality!,some just have anger for what they have been through or show frustration as in'' i went through it why cant they''!, but it is always recognized for what it is!, i have seen fake and real compassion and they are always seen for what they are!,but to feel true compassion from someone!, a bond is formed that will last forever and cherished!.

for now for the few

we leave it in the care of others if possible and live our lives according to the rules!, we are the few! with wonder and questions , ideas, and kindness we are gentle yet passionate, and we are at a roadblock!,we still search even though we have found the answers! we seem to love music and are more self educated ,we have hope? and the ideas we have left are extraordinary!, we have gone back to the beginning looking, i think for, peace of a kind!? along the way we have attained something extra that has no name! a sense of freedom yet we are not content! we know what it is yet we cannot explain what it is,to anyone or ourselves! its a longing of a sort and we are not even sure if we want it filled!. this will sound stupid to some!, but not to us!, there seem to be limitations and we are not happy with them!, more on this later for us the few.......

i had a need

we all have needs! but im here and its me writing!,looking for sympathy no! trying to make sense of it all no! ive done that and i have found the answers! it is good to know, but the search was better!, now my dreams are gone and my needs are simple!, its not that ive lost my dreams! ive fulfilled them!, now what!? is that it i just exist now with the my quests and questions answered and done? im still fascinated and annoyed with people and whats being done to and by them!, i still learn and i still need to express myself but the big things are done and gone!, so im left with myself, conversing with others , my wife, and my store! im not sure if thats enough anymore! and i will get back to my readers i just need some time and incentive. thankyou

fragile brains

i have recently discovered JUST how fragile our brains are!,to build a computer to do all the functions the brain does it would fill new york island!,i discussed politics every day with a man and one day he had a stroke! now he just smiles and can say 12 words!,i had about 30 seizures one day and i had to become a person all over enough memory burned out that the things that made me me were lost! what i new from years ago were still there but my identity was mangled and lost! i was fortunate i still had the tools to rebuild me and i will always mention a caring wife!,but that organ we carry around on top of this body is more fragile then you think!! and the stories abound from autism to m.s.!, i think we should all keep the most sacred of all things to us "who we are" and be well aware of how quickly we can loose it! and how much that can hurt and change who you are into what you are!, i also think i wrote this article for me!.

my passions

i think my passions may get in the way sometimes of even my better judgment! and its just in the odds that im going to upset some of my readers from time to time just as i have arguments over points of view with my best friends!, i must admit i am a very passionate person!, and yes i have been guilty of writing before i think!, we all have opinions about everything and each persons are different from another! sometimes we share similar views and sometimes we change our views!, if all our views were the same there would be no need to write because everyone would be thinking the same thing!what a world!?, its our diversity that makes us special! when i write on another site about Henry Thoreau i translate what he said into an easier way for me to understand! we're both saying the same thing just in words 150 years apart!,its still there to reflect and feel it how it makes sense to you!, the reason i even read in the first place is too see others points of view! and sometimes to strengthen my own! and sometimes lust to know im not alone in this world and others share with me!. michael jameson oldantiqueguy@hotmail.com

tragedy addicts

why are so many of us tragedy addicts?,the front line of every newspaper in the world is about one tragedy or another every television show at the top of the ratings is about some tragic event!, talk shows,movies etc..,even a car accident on one side of the road the traffic on the other side is backed up for miles with people looking to see the event! who are we that death and destruction is our greatest form of entertainment? what kind of people are you that need that? i will tell you! someone told me long ago what this fascination is! our own mortality and its been in bred into us since man was killing wild animals for food! even in the roman empire they would kill thousands at once to entertain an audience and make the emperor popular! and in our day its the movie star! killing movies sell the most! you cant help it its in you!unless you train yourself not to let it excite you! but you can let that go to far too !!!!

my friend

one of the best friends ive ever had! we have never done a lot of things together except talk! and a drink or two, i must admit this man has been very generous to me and my wife! but people who know me understand that would have no bearing on our relationship, i have felt his pain and have wept for him when his wife who made up a lot of who he was pass away!, he has taught me as a father, he is 69 im 44 !, not that it really enters into it, but i have spoken to him for the kind of knowledge i would like a fatherly answer from, my real father is far away and its not the same due to many things ! we are very intelligent and well versed in many areas!,and passionate on some subjects, we can be ridiculous or sublime i cherish all the time we spend together! he adds flavor to the day and we are a sight to see together!money has never changed hands between us! and we would share our last cent!,i actually find it hard to describe our friendship! it is real and our talk is mostly unreal,many people have written of friendship,and each is different,i think when one wants to write about it the bond is a worthy one and goes to many levels!,we talk like two friends drinking in a pub yet we are sober! i think he has become part of me now! and will say no more!for i could go on for miles!.

my god with proof

you have asked again what is god to me?! okay! it is a force !,yes like in star wars! everything has energy, a stone a tree a dog and us! energy is all around us ! it is a physical law that energy never dies it transforms but never ends! being alive we are made or work with bio-electric energy! and we know when we die that energy leaves our body as it does with all living things! it goes out, with all that came before us and it is alright,each energy has its own signature of whence it came! it is!. you will be transformed into the essence of what you are! yes you will know others you meet as energy!... and remember everything we have know and can see is made up of energy,even a rock we know uses energy to move atoms it is made of,if you heat a rock or add energy the atoms move faster! fooling with these atoms is not a good idea look at hiroshima that energy is still moving,if you throw a rock in space it goes on forever! if you prey i think you are preying to all that came before you!,and yes the force is stronger in some then others! you can feel it, well some can! so if i were to give "god" a face its a collective of our ancestors,combined a lot of energy! that is my idea of it! sorry if i have offended people who think he is a bearded man in a big chair.

music inside me

some like me cannot make music for many reasons!, but to me music is a very private thing!,and hard to explain, it may only be a line in a song, a few words with a few notes, but what it can do to me!! it can put me in a mood or take me out of a mood!, sometimes i need to listen to it by myself for many reasons!, it might have hit something very personal within me that i do not share, i may cry, or the song might be me so much that it scares me!,or its saying the things i want to say but cant, or cant find the words,or how does this person know me so well, or thats what i am or have been trying to say, i dont want anyone to see my reaction, i even rush to be somewhere to be alone and play the song i just heard, over in my mind! and its a part of me that i dont want to share its for me!,"i think ive said to much maybe i havent said enough"

do you know who you are

do you ? or are you just a collection of other people's lives? are you true to yourself or are you scared of who you are? do you do what is expected of you? or are you just trying to survive? are you scared of life? or these questions,.or do you know!, not just think you know who you really are!, you are all the experiences you have ever had all you have learned and all you have felt!,you are not brainwashed by groups and society's!,you realize that we are brainwashed by our parents as a young child thats how we learn! and forms of it are used throughout your young adult years to teach you and ready you for society! then it comes time for you to stop that and think for yourself with the tools at your disposal to live your life as you choose for yourself and not to let others choose for you!, to feel secure in the thoughts of who you are and what you want to do with your time while you are alive!, you understand that of why you are here, and for some it took the search to find they did not need the search!and for some it was the search that mattered!,and there are some that become more then what they are, they are on a search that never ends or can, it is a thirst they cannot quench and they need to be much more yet cannot find it! to some it is a matter of happiness and that is all,yes and if talking with your friends at the pub is what makes you happy,! for you have found your happiness,some its a family and the tradition of others or your parents! they have found your happiness,! and so on!, and then their are the few who have risen to something more and they know it, with all they speak,with all their thoughts, it is always there it is those i seek??? to the rest just be happy!

the spirit in the woods

i have lived in the woods, and walked through the woods, felt the spirit of the woods, it was the 150 year old trees, the wind the birds the soil a nearby stream, the life and death forever,all within the woods! and i am apart and not apart of,the wind the sights and sounds, it is real i can touch it with my senses! this spirit is more real then others have from a book and words!, i think when it comes my time i would like to die against a tree and decay into the soil where the grass grows and the deer eat the grass and so i become truly apart of the spirit of the woods that can be felt forever!.

are we stupid

i watched a man viewing his church broadcast on his computer, i could not help pulling up a chair and take in the sight and reflect! it was not the content on the screen that interested me it was the theme, i asked him what his vocation was,scientist of psychology basically, in turn he asked why i was amused at what lay before him as he watched his mass?, i responded i cant validate using science to hear the imaginary, is the best answer i came up with , he said do we not start with the imaginary to validate science! i said who decides what gets to be imaginary? he said if someone wrote a book about invisible jane and years later they started the church of jane and what they did would not hurt anyone its alright!i said but they would be worshiping jane and not... say your imaginary god, would that not make them wrong? yes because mine is the real god!, i said is it not vanity to say yours is right and all the other ones wrong? he said no because mines the real one! but i said that's what they say!, they are pagans!he said! i said so you are a scientist of psychology and you are calling people pagans because they dont believe in the same imaginary people you do? he said after a long pause and i quote "oh my goodness what have i done! all these years, we are stupid!"

my opinion

for some readers who do not agree with me, these are just my feelings, emotions, opinions, and just one man, we all have different ways of looking at things, it makes each of us unique!!,yes sometimes i write out of love or anger sometimes out of frustration, it is my need to express myself, even if no one reads what i write!, if i cant get my thoughts out as i do, i think i would feel a little lonelier!, and once again i am giving of myself now, please, you dont have to agree with me but do not call me names or hate! as this is not something in me to do to you!. with love to my readers michael jameson oldantiqueguy@hotmail.com and yes i am 44

funny

funny, i come here for comfort, but not in the beginning, i came here to make a statement! of many things as can be read and thought!, but now its my getaway to an electronic "diary of no interruptions" and to my readers thanks again for emailing me and not commenting here except when necessary!,back on topic! ive actually traded some nature time for it!this wired world!, but ive decided to take it out of my reading time!, funny the older i get the less i want to live others lives and live my own, for most its the other way round!, i dont my life to surmount to others lives but to my own!,, isnt it interesting that no one can judge you on how you look or what you wear here! sure you can make up a life here, but why, and which one is the real you!,,i am also not a mentor,im a story teller and express some things that cause me grief!,and yes i get a little to passionate sometimes! and i do wish i had been born in an earlier time sometimes,and sometimes i feel like an old gunslinger thats hung up his guns and just sits there looking at them!, and thats my time here for now!.

i am

i am not unreasonable nor am i a child, i am in this world with all others and have my own set of joys,fears,problems and tears as the next! i make my own happiness and others make it for me! i am science nature and philosophy! i have many beliefs not ones borrowed or pushed upon me by others who think their way is the only and right way!,i am an animal like the bison or the birds,yes my thumbs are opposable and i am aware of consciousness and my own mortality ! i have dreams and wishes ! wants and needs! i love people pets science and nature! and for who i am im persecuted for my ideas and the way i want to look at things ! so i am not scared of death its parts of life! im happy here till im not! do not try to brainwash me in to thinking your way is the only way! and i have to have your god weather she has 7 arms or a guy with a long beard!, and if im going to whatever you call "hell"the three words say in your particular book fire brimstone etc! so in conclusion dont try and save this happy person your the only ones making me unhappy! leave me as i am!!!!!.

the fool

i just wrote on another site this very same thing!!! when someone argues a false point and will not except logical reasoning and you continue to argue who is the fool?, if you try to argue with someone about religion the turnout is always the same ! if there point is an imaginary person, the best we can do is say all logic and science and history points to it not existing!, that fact alone!! they cannot prove with anyone of these methods that it does exist! "stalemate" both are frustrated! we can all believe in imaginary friends, gods, fairy's, animals,! or we can look at things with scientific value as we do with everything else! but those are the only things imaginary we are allowed to believe in!, or they lock us up or give us a severe amount of medication!

anger to jehovah witness

i am not a man of anger but disbelief and sheer brainwashing to the point of allowing the death of ones own child! and that they could not even read this or their friends and family and church will shun them!, i will tell you the story! a nice english lady comes in my store and i enjoy our talks about religion greatly but realized i did not know much about hers! jw so i read info on both for and against ! and i was amazed! stunned!, i had not seen that level of brainwashing since ww 2!,the man who started the church was a scam artist sold miracle wheat then was sued it would not grow! so then sold a cure for cancer? a bean that took a thousand years to grow! in very fine print!!in 1884 he read about a couple of religions and decided he was a pastor! and of coarse, start a church and people will come! you can make lots of promises for you when you are dead! since then to get people and money, say the world will end! it never does but they have sold all their stuff life insurance etc! the rules are meant to keep you away from the truth! you cant go to college or university! celebrate any holiday birthday etc. if grandfather died you cannot go to his funeral if its another church! but you cant even play chess! it makes you think to much and if you do something the church dislikes you are shunned by family friends and church! 7 year old kids pulling life saving tubes from their arms or family and friends will ignore them!, brainwashing is so total they are not even allowed to listen to any other ideas ! they are only able to talk to other members and the same with marriage!,since the church has started the world will end 25 times! it ended in 1973 and 1975 they made millions!,yes i am angry and thats not me, im kind and gentle a man of nature and science! can we do any thing??? i will write more later

asleep and awake

the state of mind when you are aware but in sleep mode and you can watch like a movie what is going on! i was trained to do this in india!, it is spoken about a lot and it has happened to everyone some more then others! this lucid dreaming has been written about and many reasons for it have been made, most people can do it for 2 to 5 seconds or even a fraction of a second, yet you can do before sleep and after sleep for i minute or more!,its the subconscious merging with the conscious at the same time, the sub conscious is in control and you are aware of it and the fact you are awake! your watching your mind at work or the trailing of r.e.m. sleep! some can participate in the event even if just looking around! but dont use your eyes to do it you have to use your mind! if any one would like to learn they can ask me.

human nature

we are what we are!! the lion is and acts like a lion its in his nature to be a lion!, the natural world,forests,jungles,do what is there nature!and species continue !,now we come to humans! and our nature is taught!and it differs on where you live!if you live in the desert and have little or in the city and have much! what you are taught from family and the people around you as you grow!, and we take from it what we need to survive and arrive at your personality!, it makes everyone unique and everything for that matter!, so we have a person taught and given the skills to survive and this person will take or leave what he or she wishes to "get what they want" each person is selfish for themselves for their own reasons!, this is not a good or bad thing unless it hurts others!,one might want friends and to be liked!he uses the tools taught and his personality to obtain it,same as a criminal, but they do it for themselves!,to make them feel good etc, there are some that are so curious about life,people and understanding nature and their own mind and the expansion of of abilities that they seek out the unknown, some fear and head to church, some disregard it, band then their are us the few that have risen to a new level of awareness giving them something extra and they know not what it is and will spend a life learning and teaching trying ti find the answer and most die trying! not a happy ending.

LIFE IS HERE NOW

life is here now !!!! we are not young! we have learned why and what it is to live and be alive.! school is over, young loves,trials,jobs,trips,thoughts of youth is behind us we are adults!, now we live and be who we want to be ! and do hopefully what we want to do and not something we despise to pay the bills!,we can make our own decisions! choose! and enjoy,if family makes you happy have one,live the life of your parents and most people! or make it your world and do as you please,you can do a bit of both but focusing on something that will make your world just as you want it! see hear touch and smell all you can absorb ! plant and grow things look at other cultures , read listen and think observe and reflect!! ,,dont waste it! that is a criminal act against your self! time is the most precious thing you have! its conscious awareness ! and help and share with others!any chance you get! selfishness hurts you!, and this one thing i will tell you is MONEY DOES NOT BUY HAPPINESS!!! it has been true forever! we each make our own happiness alone or with someone! and try and stay alive as long as you can! thankyou

grown up friends

friends from the time we go to school we desire them more then anything!!! we will steal, lie, spend money, anything to get them and keep them ! we dress the same to be part of the "group" and they will judge us on our clothes! friend or not friend? i cant be seen with them if their not stylish!. That is the age when beauty is skin deep!! when i was a kid all boys wore were cords or jeans didn't matter, didn't matter the rich kids in pants went to a different school! but if you were fat or dumb or cried to much the list go's on you had very few friends if any! and how many friends are the same then and now, one none!, as we get older we know why our friends want us for friends! my goodness the crap we went through!,pain, suffering, self, hate, loneliness, lies, to have a friend. and the young regard the old as stupid!.

my wife

thank you for coming dear! are you here out of interest, curiosity,? its okay! i love you! im sure you wont agree with some of these postings!? but they are my thoughts and feelings ,attitudes and ideals! read them at your leisure ! i do hope they dont cause you any pain! this is the site i chose to give you first if you like or are interested i will give you others! as long as they dont cause arguments! because you are my world and i will not have you unhappy! your loving husband michael

philosophy

why is it that there are no philosophers anymore? there are philosophy teachers and students! but no philosophers!? in the early years of man there were many but in the last couple of centuries very few?.has it all been said ? do we know the human condition so well and nature ,the world ,no we dont! is it that we are fighting each other because our philosophies are different? yes! that brings shame to me!,because of a set of ways of how humans should behave and why, we will take the life from others!,it breeds hate but also love and understanding!,politics, religions, school teachings,are all philosophies!.i am the misguided philosopher because im terrified that one day my ideas may cause pain and suffering! every religion and political ideals on earth have caused millions to die!,perhaps others are scared to write philosophy and that's the answer to my question yet with or without my own ideals the killing wont stop! and i have the answer as do many, but once again you cant get everyone to heed them without war! so i have my answer,what have we done !. more on this later!?!?!

making peace with the past

it is my one wish for everyone!, most people are living with events of the past that hurt their future and some people struggle every day with the past, its in our memory and it can gnaw at us! our brains wont keep it buried! yet we can make peace with it, if someone hurt us and you dont even see this person! remember how you first thought about them! and make friends with the past! dont let them hurt you anymore for the simple reason that you dont want your life filled with hate and sorrow!, look at the event then look at a forest or a stream and you know which one makes you happier! its a better image to keep in your mind!, life is not about fretting the past, its about enjoying the future!everyday you change and and a new life begins in you! let the bad things go ! unless you want to keep them, some people like misery and complaining and keeping all the bad things, so when asked what did you do in life! you can say, i complained to anyone that would listen and spread misery, was i not wonderful!?!? or,i had some bad things happen but i loved life and had fun!,my friends like me,i enjoyed as much as life had to offer because i made peace with the past!!!!! michael jameson oldantiqueguy@hotmail.com

brainwashing

we have proved that it is done!it is fact! IF I TELL A MAN A CIRCLE IS A TRIANGLE ENOUGH TIMES HE WILL BELIEVE IT!,people are brainwashed all the time!, hitler did it to a country!,captives agreeing with their captors!,i can make you believe in an entity that controls your life and everything you do!no!, churches do it!,i can make you believe in healers! just give me your money! some people are so weak minded they believe in every new church that comes along and go to 30 in a life! and if you can get a child young enough the child will believe anything you tell him!. if a man i trust and believe in tells me something, i believe it verbatim till im proved wrong!,its our brains makeup! its how we learn in the first place! if everyone tells us its an apple,we believe its an apple!mind control,first rule! get the weak minded,second rule, tell them what they want to hear or would like!you dont need proof!as long as there are rewards along the line!, and you've got them!!!,someone can prove your wrong and they wont care they will say your wrong and that's it!,my friend is a hypnotist! he can fool your brain into thinking your a chicken!,or here's one,! pass this email to 6 people or you will have a bad day!or buy this plate hand signed, limited edition,certificate of authenticity,! tens of thousands think its the best investment in the world!,if you think when you die your just going to wake up in the next room and live forever?!, the fear of death is the cornerstone of religion!,how strong is your mind???.

truth

ones own truth is hard to come to terms with!, one may never lie to or about anything! but have a shell or facade their whole life! its truth to oneself,who are you really? some do not like who they are or know who they are! they cannot think inwardly only outward,its horrible to be scared of who you are or might be!,,,i was full of greed selfish angry and scared i trusted no one! i realized i did not know who i was! and that scared me! i read philosophy books,thoreau,and lived in nature,and i listened to older people,from not knowing who i was and assuming i was no one, i had grown!,yes i had been hurt,but i made peace with my past! and i wanted to be someone "me", no facade!no anger! no lies!, nothing was harder yet more satisfying! i started to like who i was and others started to like me! my views of the world changed!, i talked to myself! most things are just right or wrong!,we know the difference! and i treated people like i wanted to be treated!, my rewards were great, i was in touch with myself and i looked at the world different!, i am a kind man

the passing of a friend

for me it has been whats called the year of the fly's! in 4 months 5 family members and two friends have passed away!, in looking at the people left behind like myself and people closer i have found out a few things that i want to write! the biggest thing thought about is that we wont be able to talk to this person or listen to this person again and that they had so much life in them and its not right, we will miss them being in all the places and what they said,and when we do something they usually did we will remember them the most!,its the loss we feel and its harder then someone you love as a teen breaking up with you because you feel it forever!, it gets easier with time but it never leaves totally, you have lost a part of you and the size of the part depends on how close they were!,if its a spouse you can be totally lost and can only function enough to live! they were that much apart of you! and you can find yourself saying things like "if only" a lot,,, it can hurt so much that only time and support from others can help, time is really the only thing that can help! and even if someone new was to enter your life in the same way,we still and should keep the memories of the departed alive!. we know everyone passes on and you may experience many losses in your life, until your time comes,and then it will be the same for the people you left behind!, but we must remember that we still have life and life to live!,it is our duty to honor to honor the departed by living on, if not for you then for them!

why do i write a blog???????

i think in the beginning i wanted to share my thoughts with others!.....but no one visited the site ? had i done it wrong ? then it hit me i needed to to do it for me! i did not want the site to go to my friends just strangers! im expressing things i dont talk to friends about!? but i have come to a time where i half to put myself and my ideas,feelings,views and more of me out there somehow!! and its comfortable for me to write, i wonder if others share in this need? i have plenty of good friends but i feel i want to be written as a lasting part of me! you see i just needed to say that! but why??

all we are

the only real treasures we have in this world are our family, friends and our memories of what we have done!!!!!! three things, some would say our dreams of things to do but they will be memories too! it doesent seem like much when you look at it!!, but when you think about it its more then one could ever hope to have in this world and its a grand life just to have them!.

taking it all !!!!!

you and your memories are all you really have!! sure you have friends, things, maybe a spouse, but things are just that things! and the people in your life get to share some of your memories! but its you and what you do to make yourself happy thats what you have!, some people just have misery other complaints and thats all they have? what a life! we are here for a blink of time should we not have as much joy as possible!,,i am in severe pain 24 hours a day and when the circle of life is over for me i will say I HAD FUN!!! not i lived in misery or life dealt me a horrible hand so i complained to people and its not my fault!!, we all go through bad times its life but those are only little slivers of time! and if your poor fine i had some of the greatest times of my life when i was poorest!, make yourself be happy its the easiest things to do!, start with a smile you know how to do the rest! and dont tell yourself well im only happy complaining and when people feel sorry for you!!, what do you think others think of you? what do you think of yourself? if you dont know you need to see a doctor but chances are you do! change can happen in the blink of an eye! when your circle of life ends what will you say!

what have we done

i just wrote this post for the thoreau site. nature is pure and being part of yet apart of nature, why oh why cant we be as pure,natures pureness is lasting, forever the same,yet we keep moving further away!, yet we seek pureness? and we think nature is one of our greatest treasures!, WHAT HAVE WE DONE !. MICHAEL JAMESON OLDANTIQUEGUY@HOTMAIL.COM

express ourselves

i read and make observations everyday on henry thoreau's site, there are hundreds of musings and thoughts there yet i and sometimes only one other leave an observation!, the site boasts over 100 followers yet no one has anything to say?, thoreau was a great man with inspiring ideas!, does it not inspire people to use their minds to share their own thoughts and experiences? is everyone scared to share that it might not be good enough or no one will care? i am truly at a loss! i cant help myself but to write something in me that he has inspired me to write! perhaps their is something wrong with me? to give a thought a feeling a view for all to read if they do? if anyone knows the answer please share why! thank you. michael jameson oldantiqueguy@hotmail.com

now that im here

now that im here i want to tell you its april 15 and soon i will begin my posts and i hope you enjoy them in some way!!! so please return, ide like that! thankyou michael