music inside me

some like me cannot make music for many reasons!, but to me music is a very private thing!,and hard to explain, it may only be a line in a song, a few words with a few notes, but what it can do to me!! it can put me in a mood or take me out of a mood!, sometimes i need to listen to it by myself for many reasons!, it might have hit something very personal within me that i do not share, i may cry, or the song might be me so much that it scares me!,or its saying the things i want to say but cant, or cant find the words,or how does this person know me so well, or thats what i am or have been trying to say, i dont want anyone to see my reaction, i even rush to be somewhere to be alone and play the song i just heard, over in my mind! and its a part of me that i dont want to share its for me!,"i think ive said to much maybe i havent said enough"

do you know who you are

do you ? or are you just a collection of other people's lives? are you true to yourself or are you scared of who you are? do you do what is expected of you? or are you just trying to survive? are you scared of life? or these questions,.or do you know!, not just think you know who you really are!, you are all the experiences you have ever had all you have learned and all you have felt!,you are not brainwashed by groups and society's!,you realize that we are brainwashed by our parents as a young child thats how we learn! and forms of it are used throughout your young adult years to teach you and ready you for society! then it comes time for you to stop that and think for yourself with the tools at your disposal to live your life as you choose for yourself and not to let others choose for you!, to feel secure in the thoughts of who you are and what you want to do with your time while you are alive!, you understand that of why you are here, and for some it took the search to find they did not need the search!and for some it was the search that mattered!,and there are some that become more then what they are, they are on a search that never ends or can, it is a thirst they cannot quench and they need to be much more yet cannot find it! to some it is a matter of happiness and that is all,yes and if talking with your friends at the pub is what makes you happy,! for you have found your happiness,some its a family and the tradition of others or your parents! they have found your happiness,! and so on!, and then their are the few who have risen to something more and they know it, with all they speak,with all their thoughts, it is always there it is those i seek??? to the rest just be happy!

the spirit in the woods

i have lived in the woods, and walked through the woods, felt the spirit of the woods, it was the 150 year old trees, the wind the birds the soil a nearby stream, the life and death forever,all within the woods! and i am apart and not apart of,the wind the sights and sounds, it is real i can touch it with my senses! this spirit is more real then others have from a book and words!, i think when it comes my time i would like to die against a tree and decay into the soil where the grass grows and the deer eat the grass and so i become truly apart of the spirit of the woods that can be felt forever!.

are we stupid

i watched a man viewing his church broadcast on his computer, i could not help pulling up a chair and take in the sight and reflect! it was not the content on the screen that interested me it was the theme, i asked him what his vocation was,scientist of psychology basically, in turn he asked why i was amused at what lay before him as he watched his mass?, i responded i cant validate using science to hear the imaginary, is the best answer i came up with , he said do we not start with the imaginary to validate science! i said who decides what gets to be imaginary? he said if someone wrote a book about invisible jane and years later they started the church of jane and what they did would not hurt anyone its alright!i said but they would be worshiping jane and not... say your imaginary god, would that not make them wrong? yes because mine is the real god!, i said is it not vanity to say yours is right and all the other ones wrong? he said no because mines the real one! but i said that's what they say!, they are pagans!he said! i said so you are a scientist of psychology and you are calling people pagans because they dont believe in the same imaginary people you do? he said after a long pause and i quote "oh my goodness what have i done! all these years, we are stupid!"

my opinion

for some readers who do not agree with me, these are just my feelings, emotions, opinions, and just one man, we all have different ways of looking at things, it makes each of us unique!!,yes sometimes i write out of love or anger sometimes out of frustration, it is my need to express myself, even if no one reads what i write!, if i cant get my thoughts out as i do, i think i would feel a little lonelier!, and once again i am giving of myself now, please, you dont have to agree with me but do not call me names or hate! as this is not something in me to do to you!. with love to my readers michael jameson oldantiqueguy@hotmail.com and yes i am 44

funny

funny, i come here for comfort, but not in the beginning, i came here to make a statement! of many things as can be read and thought!, but now its my getaway to an electronic "diary of no interruptions" and to my readers thanks again for emailing me and not commenting here except when necessary!,back on topic! ive actually traded some nature time for it!this wired world!, but ive decided to take it out of my reading time!, funny the older i get the less i want to live others lives and live my own, for most its the other way round!, i dont my life to surmount to others lives but to my own!,, isnt it interesting that no one can judge you on how you look or what you wear here! sure you can make up a life here, but why, and which one is the real you!,,i am also not a mentor,im a story teller and express some things that cause me grief!,and yes i get a little to passionate sometimes! and i do wish i had been born in an earlier time sometimes,and sometimes i feel like an old gunslinger thats hung up his guns and just sits there looking at them!, and thats my time here for now!.

i am

i am not unreasonable nor am i a child, i am in this world with all others and have my own set of joys,fears,problems and tears as the next! i make my own happiness and others make it for me! i am science nature and philosophy! i have many beliefs not ones borrowed or pushed upon me by others who think their way is the only and right way!,i am an animal like the bison or the birds,yes my thumbs are opposable and i am aware of consciousness and my own mortality ! i have dreams and wishes ! wants and needs! i love people pets science and nature! and for who i am im persecuted for my ideas and the way i want to look at things ! so i am not scared of death its parts of life! im happy here till im not! do not try to brainwash me in to thinking your way is the only way! and i have to have your god weather she has 7 arms or a guy with a long beard!, and if im going to whatever you call "hell"the three words say in your particular book fire brimstone etc! so in conclusion dont try and save this happy person your the only ones making me unhappy! leave me as i am!!!!!.

the fool

i just wrote on another site this very same thing!!! when someone argues a false point and will not except logical reasoning and you continue to argue who is the fool?, if you try to argue with someone about religion the turnout is always the same ! if there point is an imaginary person, the best we can do is say all logic and science and history points to it not existing!, that fact alone!! they cannot prove with anyone of these methods that it does exist! "stalemate" both are frustrated! we can all believe in imaginary friends, gods, fairy's, animals,! or we can look at things with scientific value as we do with everything else! but those are the only things imaginary we are allowed to believe in!, or they lock us up or give us a severe amount of medication!

anger to jehovah witness

i am not a man of anger but disbelief and sheer brainwashing to the point of allowing the death of ones own child! and that they could not even read this or their friends and family and church will shun them!, i will tell you the story! a nice english lady comes in my store and i enjoy our talks about religion greatly but realized i did not know much about hers! jw so i read info on both for and against ! and i was amazed! stunned!, i had not seen that level of brainwashing since ww 2!,the man who started the church was a scam artist sold miracle wheat then was sued it would not grow! so then sold a cure for cancer? a bean that took a thousand years to grow! in very fine print!!in 1884 he read about a couple of religions and decided he was a pastor! and of coarse, start a church and people will come! you can make lots of promises for you when you are dead! since then to get people and money, say the world will end! it never does but they have sold all their stuff life insurance etc! the rules are meant to keep you away from the truth! you cant go to college or university! celebrate any holiday birthday etc. if grandfather died you cannot go to his funeral if its another church! but you cant even play chess! it makes you think to much and if you do something the church dislikes you are shunned by family friends and church! 7 year old kids pulling life saving tubes from their arms or family and friends will ignore them!, brainwashing is so total they are not even allowed to listen to any other ideas ! they are only able to talk to other members and the same with marriage!,since the church has started the world will end 25 times! it ended in 1973 and 1975 they made millions!,yes i am angry and thats not me, im kind and gentle a man of nature and science! can we do any thing??? i will write more later

asleep and awake

the state of mind when you are aware but in sleep mode and you can watch like a movie what is going on! i was trained to do this in india!, it is spoken about a lot and it has happened to everyone some more then others! this lucid dreaming has been written about and many reasons for it have been made, most people can do it for 2 to 5 seconds or even a fraction of a second, yet you can do before sleep and after sleep for i minute or more!,its the subconscious merging with the conscious at the same time, the sub conscious is in control and you are aware of it and the fact you are awake! your watching your mind at work or the trailing of r.e.m. sleep! some can participate in the event even if just looking around! but dont use your eyes to do it you have to use your mind! if any one would like to learn they can ask me.

human nature

we are what we are!! the lion is and acts like a lion its in his nature to be a lion!, the natural world,forests,jungles,do what is there nature!and species continue !,now we come to humans! and our nature is taught!and it differs on where you live!if you live in the desert and have little or in the city and have much! what you are taught from family and the people around you as you grow!, and we take from it what we need to survive and arrive at your personality!, it makes everyone unique and everything for that matter!, so we have a person taught and given the skills to survive and this person will take or leave what he or she wishes to "get what they want" each person is selfish for themselves for their own reasons!, this is not a good or bad thing unless it hurts others!,one might want friends and to be liked!he uses the tools taught and his personality to obtain it,same as a criminal, but they do it for themselves!,to make them feel good etc, there are some that are so curious about life,people and understanding nature and their own mind and the expansion of of abilities that they seek out the unknown, some fear and head to church, some disregard it, band then their are us the few that have risen to a new level of awareness giving them something extra and they know not what it is and will spend a life learning and teaching trying ti find the answer and most die trying! not a happy ending.

LIFE IS HERE NOW

life is here now !!!! we are not young! we have learned why and what it is to live and be alive.! school is over, young loves,trials,jobs,trips,thoughts of youth is behind us we are adults!, now we live and be who we want to be ! and do hopefully what we want to do and not something we despise to pay the bills!,we can make our own decisions! choose! and enjoy,if family makes you happy have one,live the life of your parents and most people! or make it your world and do as you please,you can do a bit of both but focusing on something that will make your world just as you want it! see hear touch and smell all you can absorb ! plant and grow things look at other cultures , read listen and think observe and reflect!! ,,dont waste it! that is a criminal act against your self! time is the most precious thing you have! its conscious awareness ! and help and share with others!any chance you get! selfishness hurts you!, and this one thing i will tell you is MONEY DOES NOT BUY HAPPINESS!!! it has been true forever! we each make our own happiness alone or with someone! and try and stay alive as long as you can! thankyou

grown up friends

friends from the time we go to school we desire them more then anything!!! we will steal, lie, spend money, anything to get them and keep them ! we dress the same to be part of the "group" and they will judge us on our clothes! friend or not friend? i cant be seen with them if their not stylish!. That is the age when beauty is skin deep!! when i was a kid all boys wore were cords or jeans didn't matter, didn't matter the rich kids in pants went to a different school! but if you were fat or dumb or cried to much the list go's on you had very few friends if any! and how many friends are the same then and now, one none!, as we get older we know why our friends want us for friends! my goodness the crap we went through!,pain, suffering, self, hate, loneliness, lies, to have a friend. and the young regard the old as stupid!.

my wife

thank you for coming dear! are you here out of interest, curiosity,? its okay! i love you! im sure you wont agree with some of these postings!? but they are my thoughts and feelings ,attitudes and ideals! read them at your leisure ! i do hope they dont cause you any pain! this is the site i chose to give you first if you like or are interested i will give you others! as long as they dont cause arguments! because you are my world and i will not have you unhappy! your loving husband michael

philosophy

why is it that there are no philosophers anymore? there are philosophy teachers and students! but no philosophers!? in the early years of man there were many but in the last couple of centuries very few?.has it all been said ? do we know the human condition so well and nature ,the world ,no we dont! is it that we are fighting each other because our philosophies are different? yes! that brings shame to me!,because of a set of ways of how humans should behave and why, we will take the life from others!,it breeds hate but also love and understanding!,politics, religions, school teachings,are all philosophies!.i am the misguided philosopher because im terrified that one day my ideas may cause pain and suffering! every religion and political ideals on earth have caused millions to die!,perhaps others are scared to write philosophy and that's the answer to my question yet with or without my own ideals the killing wont stop! and i have the answer as do many, but once again you cant get everyone to heed them without war! so i have my answer,what have we done !. more on this later!?!?!

making peace with the past

it is my one wish for everyone!, most people are living with events of the past that hurt their future and some people struggle every day with the past, its in our memory and it can gnaw at us! our brains wont keep it buried! yet we can make peace with it, if someone hurt us and you dont even see this person! remember how you first thought about them! and make friends with the past! dont let them hurt you anymore for the simple reason that you dont want your life filled with hate and sorrow!, look at the event then look at a forest or a stream and you know which one makes you happier! its a better image to keep in your mind!, life is not about fretting the past, its about enjoying the future!everyday you change and and a new life begins in you! let the bad things go ! unless you want to keep them, some people like misery and complaining and keeping all the bad things, so when asked what did you do in life! you can say, i complained to anyone that would listen and spread misery, was i not wonderful!?!? or,i had some bad things happen but i loved life and had fun!,my friends like me,i enjoyed as much as life had to offer because i made peace with the past!!!!! michael jameson oldantiqueguy@hotmail.com

brainwashing

we have proved that it is done!it is fact! IF I TELL A MAN A CIRCLE IS A TRIANGLE ENOUGH TIMES HE WILL BELIEVE IT!,people are brainwashed all the time!, hitler did it to a country!,captives agreeing with their captors!,i can make you believe in an entity that controls your life and everything you do!no!, churches do it!,i can make you believe in healers! just give me your money! some people are so weak minded they believe in every new church that comes along and go to 30 in a life! and if you can get a child young enough the child will believe anything you tell him!. if a man i trust and believe in tells me something, i believe it verbatim till im proved wrong!,its our brains makeup! its how we learn in the first place! if everyone tells us its an apple,we believe its an apple!mind control,first rule! get the weak minded,second rule, tell them what they want to hear or would like!you dont need proof!as long as there are rewards along the line!, and you've got them!!!,someone can prove your wrong and they wont care they will say your wrong and that's it!,my friend is a hypnotist! he can fool your brain into thinking your a chicken!,or here's one,! pass this email to 6 people or you will have a bad day!or buy this plate hand signed, limited edition,certificate of authenticity,! tens of thousands think its the best investment in the world!,if you think when you die your just going to wake up in the next room and live forever?!, the fear of death is the cornerstone of religion!,how strong is your mind???.

truth

ones own truth is hard to come to terms with!, one may never lie to or about anything! but have a shell or facade their whole life! its truth to oneself,who are you really? some do not like who they are or know who they are! they cannot think inwardly only outward,its horrible to be scared of who you are or might be!,,,i was full of greed selfish angry and scared i trusted no one! i realized i did not know who i was! and that scared me! i read philosophy books,thoreau,and lived in nature,and i listened to older people,from not knowing who i was and assuming i was no one, i had grown!,yes i had been hurt,but i made peace with my past! and i wanted to be someone "me", no facade!no anger! no lies!, nothing was harder yet more satisfying! i started to like who i was and others started to like me! my views of the world changed!, i talked to myself! most things are just right or wrong!,we know the difference! and i treated people like i wanted to be treated!, my rewards were great, i was in touch with myself and i looked at the world different!, i am a kind man